Swing....And a miss

Saturday I went to Longview with Hunter. We dicked around, looked at random electronics anything and came home with a few games. I came home with Mario Superstar Baseball, or as I like to call it, "FUCK YOU, FUCKING GOD DAMN PIECE OF SHIT GAME, FUCKER FUCK FUCK!"

Allow me to explain...

Mario is whored out in as many different titles, as Spiderman was when part 2 came out. Usually these are fun, arcadey style games based on various real life counterparts.

Mario Party is based on real life board games.
Power Tennis is based on Tennis.
Toadstool Tour is based on Golf.

This is where MSB takes a different approach. Rather than basing it off of baseball, they based it off of 35 retards pinning me on the ground and slapping me with their dicks. I haven't encountered that in real life personally, but I imagine it happens.

The challenge mode is a great idea on paper. Travel around the mushroom kingdom and play all of your friends in baseball games to make a team that can defeat Bowser. Every major character has his or her own team with players on it according to their style. Peach has daisy and toad, and random mushroom people. Donkey Kong has Diddy and Dixie kong. One by one you beat their challenges in game and get them on your team.

Minigames are used to earn money, and thus buy special attacks for the characters and items that can buff you in a certain aspect for one game. Here's the first big flaw. You have 3 chances to play each minigame. You cannot have a practice round, and if you don't beat it, you actually lose money. There are less than half a dozen minigames in challenge mode, at least on my current one. I have cleared every single one as much as it will let me and I can't even afford the special abilities for the people i have so far.

What do people do when they don't have a special ability? They swing like normal, with a color trail behind their bat. This is fantastic because not only does it do nothing to help me, it also eats a star if I accidentally do it. What's that? Stars you ask? Stars have to be accumulated to do any kind of special attack. Randomly through the game you earn them and sometimes you can get one instantly off a single batter/pitcher duel. Honestly, they are useless, I'd rather just try to get a normal hit since the computer is not intimidated at all when Mario hits a giant fiery ball of doom toward them.

Speaking of fielding, FUCK YOU GAME. It is completely broken. As much as MLB 2k5 had broken hitting mechanics, this game has broken fielding mechanics. You can literally run over the ball with some characters (Peach and Daisy) and it will roll past them. They have about a their own foot size area where they actually pick up the ball. You don't feel like you have control over the characters. The ball goes so fast and there such a short distance anything infield and the PC will still be autofielding when the ball gets to them allowing you no control.

I'm not even going to go into the game cheating to catch up. It reminds of Wayne Gretzky Hockey 98 on N64. What's that, I have a no hitter into the 6th, and suddenly you load the bases and hit a grand slam without a single out. Yeah, fuck you too.

Anyway, I hope it enjoyed it's stay at my home, because it will soon have a new bed along side other wasted purchases at Software Etc.