Five Years Ago Today, I Almost Died

I don't have a scanner, but I do have a camera

December 18th, 1999

I worked all night at Brookshires. It was a truck night, during the busiest time of year. 30+ pallets of grocery goodness, all had to be arranged and stocked before morning. We of course weren't going to make it but we did as best we could none the less. I got to work at 10PM, and I got off work the next morning around 10AM.

December 19th, 1999

I had been so busy with the store that I hadn't had a time to do any Christmas shopping yet, and today was going to be my chance to take care of it all. Doug, Chase, and I, loaded up in my girlfriend at the time(Jo)'s truck and went to Longview. There's two different ways that both end up in Gilmer at the same place, that days choice was 2088. 2088 is a very windy road, but I was a great driver I thought so it wouldn't matter.

Eight miles from Bettie, while "Trust" by Megadeth was playing on the radio, I rolled the truck. I remember a truck coming around this long sharpish turn and he came into my lane some, so I got on the outside of my lane to give him room. Only I gave him too much room. The outer wheels got in the grass, which was soft due to rain and the truck fish tailed. It cut across traffic and went head first into a ditch. It flipped end over end 3 times, throwing me out on the second flip, and landing on an incline resting on my lower back. I was pinned beneath it's weight. The left rear tire was square on my lower back.

I came too with car fluids pouring down into my face. Shoved down into the mud, I started screaming. I didn't know exactly what was going on, I just knew I couldn't move. One arm was trapped under my body, pushed down into the ground and I had my right arm free. My chest was compressed to the point where I couldn't breathe, but because the ground was so soft I was able to dig out a hole under my chest so I could get air in.

My right leg felt like something was stabbing into it. I couldn't see it, but on the outside of the car I kept flailing it around in frustration at being trapped. I later learned that it wasn't something going into my leg, but rather, something coming out of my leg. My leg between my knee and my ankle was pretty much destroyed. Between the two bones I had 17 total breaks. What I thought was stabbing into my leg, was actually my bone sticking straight out and stabbing into the ground over and over again.

I had that weight on me for 45 minutes. The longest 45 minutes of my life. That had to cut holes in the truck and use a tractor to lift it off of my body. Because it was on an incline they couldn't just air-jack it up without a risk of it sliding back onto me and doing even more damage.

I can still remember the exact moment of being pulled out of the wreck. As I laid there with my oxygen mask on, I gave up. I knew I was going to die. I was barely awake and I knew that when I fell asleep, I wasn't going to be awake again. So I did what most people do in that situation. I asked forgiveness from god. I whispered my loves to those I cared about, wishing I could see them one more time to tell them personally. And I came to an acceptance that I had done everything I could have done, and that the end wasn't a bad thing. Then the weight was gone. I felt a dozen hands grabbing at me and pulling me out into the daylight. It was cold that day, but the light of the sun in my eyes and on my face was like a million candles burning for a moment that only I could feel.

They picked me up, and put me on the stretcher and started to take me to the Life-Flight Helicopter that was already waiting for me. I told them to wait before they put me in the back and whispered to one of them to thank Doug. He said he would and then they loaded me up and flew me to Mother Francis.

Entering the hospital I remember them turning me onto my side and throwing up all over some chair. This was important. Later on we found out my shoulder was cracked and that on the flight in, one of the paramedics made me hold that arm up to keep me awake. So I got a sense of satisfaction knowing he made me hurt, and I threw up all over their chair.

They put in my catheter, and then I was out. I slept on and off the next couple days.

Holidays 99

The rest of the year was a mix and match of pain and learning how to do things all over again. I couldn't walk for a very long time, and I had issues making piddle for a while even after the catheter was out. I felt constant pain for the next seven months, and had to wear an external fixator on my leg for the next six. Seven pins holding my leg together connected to my ankle. Daily trips to the hospital to have the wound cleaned, and re-wrapped. Eventually though, I would become whole again.

Now I have enough scars to map the skies. My right ankle doesn't move like it's supposed to, and my foot is angled outward. I can walk and run just fine, but I can't pop it. It hurts when its very cold because I still have a screw inside, and I have several inches of missing muscle making it feel really creepy to the touch. I have small scars all over my arms and back from glass. My shoulder was cracked, my liver was split open. I spent 9 days, including Christmas in the hospital that year.

Then I came home on December 28th, and my Grandma died on New Years morning.

I got a new lease on life that day.