Nostalgic Nights

Tonight is a familiar night.

It's raining really hard outside, the sun is almost gone, and there is a slight chill propelling the rain. These nights used to happen much more often a few years ago. Sitting in my room, window open, just enjoying the feeling of the holidays getting closer and summer shutting it's door on one more year.

Lights would shine into my room, illuminating it much more than the soft glow of my television. I'd look back out of the window and judge who had pulled up simply from the part of my yard they parked in. Hunter or Josh would park right behind my car, shielding all but one of their lights from my view. Doug would pull up next to my car, adding a companion to it in the darkness. Stuart would park erratically fast. And run out of his car and up to my patio. Sarah would park and sit there for a few minutes before coming in, as if unsure of her place in my house.

Everyone was always welcome. I wasn't worried about my brother's presence, nor the fact that I know tonight will be another night with my eyes held open by the frantic wailing of a spoiled baby. Everyone seemed closer. My family seemed closer. The times were so much more inviting. My window stayed open all night, a symbolic invitation to safety and peace in my heart.

There's a calming feeling when you walk indoors with a friend or two. You are all wet from the downpour but not enough to dampen your spirits. The warmth of the dry air beginning to dry you almost immediately. What did we get tonight? What had we done? Every night was a new role of the dice.

Now everyone seems spread out. Hunter is only 4 miles away, but carries a distance between us that stems from growth not mileage. Josh is only slightly further, kept away not by mileage or growth, but by a heavy work day and the comfort of his own home on his mind after a long days hell. Justin is the next furthest, kept away by mileage, growth, and the difference our lives have turned into since our heyday as friends.

Doug is further still, but I'm not sure exactly how far. I've never been to his pops but I know it is somewhere between Winnsboro, and Quitman. He's kept away by stubbornness and a frailty in ties that once held back mountains. Stuart is on the other side of the world keeping us safe.

Sarah is hours away, nuzzled back in the woods in her family hide-away turned vacation from life. Korey is days away, probably wishing he was here. That'll come in time, but until then he's destined to stay in ass-backwards land.

Tonight just feels like someone should be here. Not with any of our current problems, or issues in life. Just here, watching TV, talking, joking, and carrying on without a care.

It's amazing how life can get away form you if you don't pay attention.